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session, november 2, 2014

by they were the big things

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1.
outside, it's always complaints. / miserable and cold, miserable and hot. we always want somewhere in between / we wouldn't feel anything. we would fear everything. but I want it to change. / inside it's always the same, the don't ever change. has she really been worth / the late nights in cars? your money at the mall? will we ever be sure of what we've done? are we all so sure? because i'm a little afraid. all my wires could snap / reality could break. would I still be the same after being replaced? the way you act is always cliché. would you try something original today? because when the dust cloud settles, dawn breaks. would you try to use your fucking brain?
2.
ni san shi when you left, everything left. the friends, the emotions, everything left. i felt absolutely nothing. i'm just an unborn child, and you have this teethy, glowing, full-grown smile that we mutually envy. but when i see you so okay, i see me. i'm so unwell. i think i might not know why. but comeback ect. so here i am with every shallow day and cut to your arms. when our auras cross, i shoot up misery. emotion is just taunting and haunting me. i guess i got what i want... but i miss your loving touch! and you're good enough! i'm not good enough. i'm not anything. i'm not god. i'm just faking it. are you faking it? -- here we are. we came back and i feel absolutely... uh... you see how sad i am? well, it's cause i've been through hell... and uh... i "need" you here. well i see you so okay, now i seem so unwell. i might know why. but you can keep on keepin' on and guess at it. here i am with every sad line, every "i'm sorry", every "i love you". i'm reminded of why i'm hating me. i know that this is the end. look at these doors. look that the places we could have ran to or lived at or touched or kissed or placed trust in or took pictures at or loved or missed the boat or fucking faked it or lied stoned and cold in a bed or never got over it or fucking faked it. i killed a little bug. i'm sorry, little bug.
3.

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released November 3, 2014

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they were the big things Manasquan, New Jersey

this is a place that the little things inside of me tend to roam about and become real ad nauseam. feel free to stick around and watch me grow.

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